I’m trying to remember that bedtime and our sleep routines are more than just that. This is really nighttime parenting, which is different than daytime parenting. The needs are different, their attitudes are different, and given lack of rest and patience, certainly my responses are not going to look the same. However gentle of a parent I am, I’m not the type to throw a party in the middle of the night, just because the kids woke up. Hell to the no. I will lovingly tell their butts to go back to sleep.
My almost five year old pushes so many limits and I have to continually remind myself that she’s still so little. She brushes her own teeth, wipes her own butt, and she’s so good, until she’s not. And while I get into her more in the daytime, I feel awful getting into her right before bed. Even though she’s truly misbehaving, and we have the same routine each night. She still has to see how far we will go before we actually get frustrated. She’s learning us- she knows when we aren’t serious and just pretending.
All that said, and as frustrated as I can get, I still fully practice responsive parenting through the night. I’ve slept with my baby since birth and nurse him through the night as needed, and needs don’t end as they age. My daughter still needs help to the bathroom at night. To date she’s had two potty accidents in the bed, both times were inability to get out of bed in time, and not failure to wake up. Not that that means anything other than noting her typical behavior. And I couldn’t imagine leaving her to figure it out, or cry herself back to sleep like people do with infants.
It’s not easy though some days, and I’m begging for sleep. Which is why I need my reminder. Not every night do I have the patience I need. Some nights I get frustrated with Felix and rock him to sleep instead of waiting for him to on his own- which doesn’t sound bad except he doesn’t want it, he wants to stay latched and kick me all night. So nope, we go rocking. And I’m pissed off about it while I’m doing it. Ha!
One day these kids won’t be so little and nighttime parenting will look much different. Nightmares are coming. Hormones are coming. Who knows what else- and I know that their needs will keep evolving. I plan to hang my hat on being better when we sleep more. 😉
I have a hunch I will look back on these struggles and wish for them again.
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